Dad

When a family member has an illness, the entire family can be affected. The way the illness is dealt with affects the entire family not only the member who is ill.

Try to get as much information as you can on the illness. As hard as it is to believe... an illness in the family can be a growth experience for the people involved if it is dealt with in a sensitive and mature manner.

I promised myself that whatever treatment my Father has to go through with his Cancer I would remain strong, not for myself but, for my Father and also my Mother. I am finding it ever increasingly hard to do. I lay in bed and pray to God that he hold on to my Father's hand and help him through this struggle as he is most precious to me... and to give us all the strength to stay strong.

Most of the time I cry myself to sleep... mostly because I feel so helpless, also because I see what my Dad's Cancer has done to him. I see the frustration in his eyes... because he still wants to do all the normal things he used to do before the Cancer started to destroy his brain, things you and I take for granted. I see him not wanting to give up his independence, he refuses to use his walker, sometimes he will use a cane (not all the time) even when the Doctor's keep telling him he must use a walker. Another fall could be more disasterous to him than the Cancer is. Still he remains defiant. I sometimes see this defiancy as a blessing... I want my Dad to FIGHT... I want him to FIGHT with all he's got but, then again... I am so scared because he is defiant that he will fall and hurt himself badly.

My brothers and myself want my parents to stay home in Michigan until he has another check-up in Rochester, MN at the Mayo Clinic, Dad wants to go back to Florida and see his Doctor's at the Mayo Clinic in Jacksonville, FL. I am unsure of what is going to happen with this situation.